Does it ever get any better?
I never understood why sustaining happiness is such a hard task. One moment you're fine, feeling happy and energetic, another moment you're a sobbing mess. Even if you're able to sustain that happy feeling for more than a few days, you can feel the exhaustion, the energy it takes out of you. You can feel your sadness, and your hopelessness creep in the back of your mind, getting stronger each second and waiting for you to let your guard down, waiting for you to stop making the conscious effort to keep yourself happy. One wrong move and it all comes crashing down. It basically feels like you're constantly playing a game of Jenga with your emotions. A Jenga Tower of Sadness.
But even after this, you don't give up. You pick those pieces up and set them up again, hoping this time you get lucky and it doesn't collapse on you again. But it does, you pull out the wrong piece, and your emotions collapse again, and again, and again. It turns into a vicious cycle of healing and relapse.
So the only question that remains is does it get any better? Do you ever fully heal from your wounds and injuries that nobody but you can see? Do you ever find the stable happiness and peace you're looking for? Well, only time will tell. Until then, the best we can do is keep playing this game till maybe one day, hopefully, you win this constant battle between your emotions.
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