The Secret Garden

 Here I am, standing on the brink of womanhood, only now realising why the little girl inside of me still bleeds of old wounds. The world has called her names, told her she wasn't good enough and failed to protect her from the thousand emotional deaths she has died all her life. I never realised it until the last time I called her stupid, for making mistakes, for doing the best she knew how to, and for the pain she has suffered at the hands of others.  Everyone had always protected and sheltered her from the probable physical dangers of this world, but never gave her the warmth and love she always craved. So it makes sense why she would find that love in the most unlikely, violent, and dangerous places. It was Lauren Eden who said, "When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives" . I find that statement to be especially true for the young girl who fell for the wrong person and the wrong love her entire life; because she never knew what love f...

 It has been so long since I wrote anything, let alone this blog. This year has been full of ups and downs. The ups were euphoric while the downs were hellish, and sitting between this chaos was my inner voice. She kept trying to make me understand the meaning of it all, the purpose of it all, the answer to it all; if only I had the guts to listen to her. I spent months and months trying to control everything in my life, my environment, my thoughts, my feelings, only to realize that there is nothing in my control, not even my mind. The only thing I can control is my actions and my reactions to the world around me. I cannot change or control the world around me. I can only control how I perceive and how I respond to it. The only control is through surrendering to the universe around you. Let your thoughts run wild, let yourself feel life to the fullest. Let the pain inside your heart, let the wounds overwhelm you. Let yourself live .  Here I am, sitting on a lonely December nig...